What to say and not to say to parents after the death of a child
Do you know someone who has lost a baby or an older child? Would you like to comfort them somehow, but don't know how? Prepare yourself for the fact that you simply cannot take away the pain of parents who have lost a son or daughter; it is beyond human capability. On the other hand, words can be powerful, and you can either bring comfort to a grieving parent's soul or deeply wound them.
Adriana Kábová on the banks of the Vltava River, on Střelecký Island
When my own baby died, I was surprised by many of the reactions from people around me. Some were kind, others unpleasant. What shocked me the most was how many people pulled away and pretended nothing had happened. I realized they probably didn't know how to react. But avoiding me, or at least avoiding the topic of the child's death, is what hurt me the most.
After a child's death, parents often find themselves in a strange vacuum and feel very lonely. This happens simply because those around them don't know what to say or do, so they prefer to pull back and avoid reacting to such a difficult life situation. Fears of bringing up the deceased child are misplaced; for the first few months, parents can barely think about anything else.
Alongside ignorance, a common type of reaction is a desperate effort to come up with something positive—something to cheer up parents with empty arms. But that simply cannot work. The parents can sense the effort to comfort them, but it completely misses the mark.
Sometimes I was amazed by what people said to me. I understand they probably felt the need to comfort or cheer me up. But more than once, it ended up making me feel sorry for *them*, struggling as they were and not knowing how to act around me.
I recommend focusing instead on sentences that acknowledge the death of the child and the weight of the parents' grief. A simple “I'm sorry”, “I am so sorry” is sometimes completely enough. “My deepest condolences” might be seen by some as a stiff phrase, but it actually holds deep meaning and certainly belongs among the most welcome expressions of sympathy.
Words that can support grieving parents:
I am so sorry.
I am deeply sorry.
My sincere condolences.
If you know each other very well, offering a hug can be a source of support for parents after the death of a child. It is always best to ask first if it is okay and if the parents would be comfortable with it at that moment. Respect their answer without judgment if they decline your offer; not everyone is a "hugger."
I am here for you and will listen whenever you need.
Don't hesitate to write to me anytime; you will never be a bother.
It is very important to know how to listen to parents after the loss of their child. Often, they need help sharing their burden, but very few people want to hear about dying. Hold back on sharing stories about what happened to people you know and what helped them. Instead, focus on the story or insight that the grieving person might want to share with you, but often find no space to do so. Let the parents know that you are ready to listen. You can say something like "I am here for you and will listen whenever you need" or "don't hesitate to write to me anytime; you will never be a bother."
Would you like to tell me something about (child's name)?
And when you are figuring out whether parents are in the mood to share their grief with you, it is good not to be afraid to mention the name of the deceased child. Many people tend to stop saying the child's name, as if it suddenly became forbidden. Yet, for the parents, they are still their beloved son or daughter, even though they are no longer here. And when no one wants to talk about them or even say their name anymore, it feels as though those around them suddenly refuse to acknowledge that they ever existed.
I was always touched when someone among my acquaintances was not afraid to speak my son's name. It warmed my heart that at least someone remembered him, even though he was here for such a short time.
Words that usually rub salt in the wound:
Be glad you still have another child.
You are still young, you will have more.
You just have to think positively.
Worse things happen to people.
I know how you feel because...
Nature wanted it this way. It was meant to be.
Your child is in a better place now.
At least they weren't older.
Are you thinking about having another one?
Sentences starting with "at least."
Aside from the group of people who worry about hurting the parents with their words and prefer to stay silent, there is another group that doesn't think before speaking at all and simply blurts something out, believing it will lessen the parents' sorrow. If the parents have other children, someone will always make sure to mention it. "Be glad you still have another child." Yes, parents are certainly glad to have another child, but that does not lessen their grief in any way. Similarly ineffective are virtually all sentences that begin with "at least…" At least you are okay, at least it didn't turn out even worse, at least everything else is going well for you, at least you can still have more children, and so on.
And then there are those who feel they know exactly what parents go through after the death of a child. Because someone they know went through something similar, they know what helped them and what the parents should or shouldn't do, and what they need. Never say the sentence "I know how you feel because…" because you simply do not know. Every grief is deeply personal, and no one can give parents a precise guide on how to navigate it.
"When our Oliver died, I wasn't able to speak to anyone except my husband. After returning from the hospital, we stayed at his parents' house for a few days. Everyone acted as if nothing had happened. On the third day, my mother-in-law sat down next to me in the living room and said she knew exactly what I was going through. She apparently had a miscarriage once. She started giving me advice on what I should and shouldn't do now. I just stared at her. And I told her she had absolutely no idea what I was going through. I walked away in tears, and we didn't speak to each other again until we left."
An experience from our client Eva B.
Well-meaning judgments like “nature wanted it this way”, “it was meant to be”, or don't help either
“your child is in a better place now”. If these statements are meant truly seriously, they contain a reference to spirituality that the parent may not share with the speaker.
And because grief shown in public is generally not very common in our society, people around parents sometimes do not know how to handle it. That is how remarks like “don't cry, it won't bring him/her back anyway” or “above all, you have to think positively” come about. Similarly, the remark “other people have it even worse” is not supportive at all. The pressure to smile and encouragement to suppress grief deny the parents' experienced emotions and their need to mourn.
A sentence that can hurt parents of babies who died stillborn or were born very prematurely goes: “at least it wasn't older”. Watch out, direct comparison does not apply here. The parent simply lost a child. Period.
When it comes to babies, spare yourself the frequently heard sentence “you are still young, you'll have another one”. Parents are experiencing indescribable pain, grieving precisely for that unique baby they have just lost. This sentence feels like a slap in the face. Furthermore, you may not know the exact reasons for the baby's death, and sometimes procedures occur after which another pregnancy is no longer possible. And if you haven't stood by the parents' side throughout their grief and aren't among their absolute closest, completely avoid asking such questions when you bump into them so that you don't end up having to talk about: “And are you already thinking about another one?”
So we recommend definitely not ignoring a child's death or passing over it in silence. It's just that in such a case, less is sometimes more, and “I'm sorry” and " I am so sorry" as a first reaction are completely enough. And then you can ask the parents what practical things you can help them with, or perhaps suggest some directly. What is valued most is being able to listen to the parents and everything they want to share, perhaps even repeatedly.
The author, Adriana Kábová, is a grief counselor and funeral guide who lost her first baby.
Suicide is the cancer of the soul. How do suicidal thoughts work? Saša Kasal and Roksana Táborská.
Saša Kasal and Roksana Táborská from the National Institute of Mental Health
Suicide is the cancer of the soul. How do suicidal thoughts work?
It changes with age: the younger a person is, the more at risk they are – people learn different techniques for coping with problems during their lives.
It changes by gender: more men commit suicide, while women more often self-harm (worldwide, there are 3 to 4 male suicides for every female suicide).
It spreads like contagion: if a suicide happens in one classroom, it is a risk factor for all classmates.
The surroundings can make it worse; it is enough to say, for example, “You can't do this to me.”
13,000 suicides in one year – roughly 4 deaths a day. Those are the figures for 2022. March and April are the highest-risk months.
Is it because of computers now? Not at all. Numbers have steadily declined since the 1950s and 1960s. They have only started rising again since 2019. Why?
There is never just one cause: covid, bleak prospects for the future, social media, long waiting lists for psychologists, addictive substances, even genetic predisposition.
What to do when someone confides in you about their intention to commit suicide?
Will a psychologist drop you?
Can the family be exonerated in any way?
We explored the stigma of suicide together with Saša Kasal and Roksana Táborská from the National Institute of Mental Health in our podcast.
We apologize to everyone for the lower clarity of the male voices. The original recording was heavily damaged, and what you are hearing is the result of a painstaking reconstruction.
Final Farewells in the 19th Century
Many people today wish to die at home, surrounded by their loved ones. In the past, this was perfectly common—especially in rural areas, where a person’s passing was associated with a host of traditions and customs. These rituals were intended to symbolically sever the ties that bound the deceased to family and neighbors, while also welcoming them into the world of the dead. In this article, I explore how death and funerals were experienced in the Czech countryside during the 19th century. Many of the customs from that time survive to this day—albeit perhaps only in a simplified form.
Funeral ceremonies have always been accompanied by a whole series of rituals.
Dying
When someone was ill for a long time, neighbors would bring them all kinds of medicines, and the family would pray for their recovery. If the sick person felt that their final moments were approaching, they would say goodbye to family and friends, bestow blessings upon them, and give final instructions regarding the distribution of their estate. At the same time, however, this created an opportunity to pass on messages to those who had already died. People used their approaching death as an opportunity to send greetings to “the other world”—they talked about what had happened in the village; about misfortunes, the war, but also about those they missed.
“Aunt Hotáková pleaded: ‘Please give my regards to my husband—Martin—and tell him that our house burned down this summer… Tell my parents that Šimon was drafted this year and that he’s already enlisted in Pilsen.’ The widower, who had buried his wife five years ago, recalled poignantly: ‘Give my regards to my Manka, too; tell her I can’t forget her—I just can’t.’ All morning long, people came to the cottage with their sorrows and longings, and the old woman smiled, prayed, and promised that she would faithfully pass on everything…”
– Jindřich Šimon Baar of Postřekov in the Chodsko region. In: Navrátilová. 2004: 189.
Signs
When an owl hooted or a female dog howled in the yard, people used to say that death was approaching. In Central Bohemia, people imagined her as a female figure in a paper dress standing by the bed of the dying person. Other omens of an approaching end included a clock suddenly stopping or strange noises in the house—“like a rod striking a chest.”
At Easter, there used to be a procession to the cemetery on Palm Sunday (now known as White Sunday).
Reporting a Death
As soon as a person took their last breath, everyone sleeping in the house had to be woken up. If the head of the household died, his passing was also announced to the animals—the dog, the horses, the bees, and even the fruit trees. When the lady of the house died, the news was primarily conveyed to the poultry and livestock. Inside the house, clocks were stopped, mirrors and paintings were covered, the deceased’s eyes were closed so that he would not “spot” anyone else, and his chin was tied up so that he would not “swallow” anyone from the family. Everything was done with respect for the body, because it was believed that the soul remained with the body until the funeral. This was also why vessels were turned upside down, so that the soul would have nowhere to hide. In some regions, a window was opened after death; in others, it was closed—depending on whether people believed the soul should stay or leave.
Even today, in villages, the noon death knell can signal that someone has died. In some regions, it used to be customary to “ring the bell” a certain number of times—three times for a man, twice for a woman, and once for a child.
The family would then ask someone to go around to the neighbors and tell them what had happened. In return, the person received a small token of appreciation—a snack or some money—but was never allowed to enter the house. This custom was later replaced by an obituary in the local newspaper.
Placing the body in the coffin
Before the body was placed in the coffin, an older woman from the family or among the relatives washed it. Anything that came into contact with the deceased during this process was no longer used—it was burned or buried. The water was poured into an unused corner of the garden, a place where people did not normally go and where nothing was grown. The deceased was laid on a white sheet, or on a bier in a cool chamber, with the head turned toward the east.
The coffin was custom-made by a local carpenter and blessed with holy water before use. A family member dressed the body—often in a linen gown or a wedding dress—with the hands crossed over the chest and a holy image placed between them. A rosary, a cross, a prayer book, or personal belongings were also placed inside. The body was then laid out in the house. Shoes were not placed on the body—they were expensive and were passed down to others. In the 19th century, the coffin was usually black. For those who died unmarried, however, it was sometimes red.
Items that the deceased had loved—such as tobacco, alcohol, a book, photographs, or even musical instruments—were often placed in the coffin as well.
Lamentations and Final Visits
Neighbors and acquaintances came to visit the family and the deceased. They prayed, said their goodbyes, and holy water was placed next to the body for making the sign of the cross. Beggars were also invited to pray for the deceased, and female beggars—known as “mourners”—loudly wept for him. In some regions, the prayers lasted all night. Guests sang funeral songs with the family, and in addition to prayers, tea, coffee, light refreshments, and even alcohol were served. Guests often took the leftovers home with them.
Carrying the Deceased Out of the House of Mourning
The coffin was not closed until just before departure for the cemetery—so that everyone could say goodbye to the deceased right up until the very last moment. The act of nailing the lid shut was often accompanied by intense emotions, weeping, and wailing. The coffin was always carried out of the house feet-first—this was supposed to prevent the deceased from “returning.” This custom has survived to this day.
The threshold of the house had symbolic significance; it marked the boundary of the home. When carrying the coffin, the bearers would either swing it over the threshold three times, tap it against it, or make the sign of the cross over it. If a woman died during the postpartum period, women carried the coffin. Similarly, a married man was carried by married men, and an unmarried man by unmarried men.
The coffin was most often carried by men, usually married men. In the past, the coffin was carried on a bier; today, it is more commonly carried by its handles.
Funeral procession
From the house of mourning, the coffin was carried to the church or directly to the cemetery—either on a bier or on a horse-drawn cart. When traveling by cart, it was first backed up three times. During the journey, people prayed; in some places, a singer led the prayers.
At the edge of the village, often by a wayside shrine, those present would turn to the others one last time to ask for forgiveness:
“Neighbors, if the deceased wronged you in any way during his or her lifetime, I beg you, for God’s sake and for the sake of all the saints—once, twice, three times—to forgive him or her!” Those present respond in unison: “May God forgive him or her.”
– Žipek, 1895: 534. In Nešporová, 2013: 188.
If the church or cemetery was far away, young children and the elderly would accompany the procession only as far as the edge of the village.
Today, coffins are most often transported by car, but in the past, men carried them by hand, and only later were they transported by carriage.
A ceremony at the cemetery
Upon arrival at the cemetery, a religious service was held, during which the priest delivered a sermon, consecrated the grave, and the coffin was lowered into the ground. People usually could not hold back their tears—crying and grief accompanied the entire ritual.
To this day, it is customary to throw three handfuls of dirt onto the coffin—a reminder that we will all end up the same way someday. In some regions, the deceased’s bed was also made on the day of the funeral: if it remained undisturbed the next morning, it was believed that the soul had not returned.
In the past, the deceased was laid to rest on the very same day they died. However, there was a risk that someone might be buried alive by mistake—people used various methods to confirm death, such as dripping wax onto the chest or placing a feather against the mouth. It was precisely for this reason that a decree was issued in 1771 stipulating that every church must have a mortuary where the body would remain for at least 48 hours. In reality, however, this rule was not followed until much later.
Kar
After the funeral, the family invited the guests—relatives, friends, but also the priest, the professional mourners, the gravedigger, and the pallbearers—to the funeral feast. Simple foods such as porridge, bread, milk, and often alcohol were served.
A Posthumous Wedding
Wedding motifs often appeared in the funerals of unmarried deceased individuals—this was meant to complete the life cycle that death had interrupted. The deceased young man or woman was dressed in wedding attire, and one of their peers would symbolically take on the role of the groom or bride and walk behind the coffin. In some regions, the procession was accompanied by two figures—a white bride and a black bride. The black bride carried a broken candle as a symbol of a life cut short.
The bridesmaids often accompanied the deceased from the house, and the feast that followed was informally called a “věneček,” a “veselka,” or simply a “wedding.” People gathered there to eat, drink, and dance together. Bread was also served.
The tradition of white and black brides has survived to this day in some regions of the Czech Republic and Slovakia.
A Time of Mourning
The funeral was followed by a period of mourning; women wore black clothing or at least a black armband. For one year, no weddings were allowed, and the family did not attend dances or celebrations.
Excessive grief, however, was frowned upon—it was said to unnecessarily disturb the soul of the deceased. People mainly mourned on the anniversaries of death and birth, on All Souls’ Day, or at Christmas.
Visiting the cemetery on All Souls’ Day remains an important tradition to this day. In the past, special pastries made from white flour were baked for this occasion—they were called “dušičky,” “kosti svatých,” “caletky,” or “boží kosti.” These were distributed to children and beggars. It was believed that they, in particular, were close to the spiritual world and could facilitate contact with the dead.
Grave Maintenance
In the past, graves were not maintained as carefully as they are today. They were often overgrown with grass, and when the family mowed it, the gravediggers took offense—because they grew vegetables there, cut grass for their livestock, or grazed their animals.
Larger and more ornate graves began to appear toward the end of the 19th century, first in cities and gradually in rural areas as well. Most had only simple markings; inscriptions were rare. Wealthier families could afford a wooden or metal cross. In Central Bohemia, colored crosses were used—red for unmarried people and black for married men or women. Around the turn of the century, wreaths and the lighting of candles on the anniversary of a death or on All Souls’ Day became common.
Funeral customs in our country varied significantly from region to region. In fact, it is perhaps at funerals that the saying “Different regions, different customs” applies most. If you have experienced any other traditions that were observed in your area, we’d love for you to share them with us—please write to us at [email protected].
The author is Adriana Kábová, an ethnologist and funeral guide.
Sources:
KAŠOVÁ, Lucie. Funeral Rituals, Customs, and Traditions in the 21st Century in Jílové u Prahy. Master’s thesis, advisor: Pavel Hošek. Charles University, Protestant Theological Faculty, Department of Religious Studies, 2011.
NAVRÁTILOVÁ, Alexandra. Birth and Death in Czech Folk Culture. Prague: Vyšehrad, 2004.
NEŠPOROVÁ, Olga. A Century of Changes in Burial Practices: From Church Burials to Cremation Without a Ceremony. Český lid, 100, 2, 2013.
ŠROM, Boh. On Rural Life in the Jílové District, manuscript, 1895.
ŽIPEK, Josef. Superstitions and Customs Concerning Illness, Death, and Funerals in the Strakonice Region. Český lid, 4: 533–535, 1895.
Šechtl and Voseček Digital Photo Archive
How to Talk About Death and Why Are We Afraid of It? Adriana and Oleg for iGlanc.
“Grandma went to heaven.”🌌
How many times have you resorted to saying “she’s in heaven” when your child asked you where Grandma had gone?
We think this will make the child feel better, since they're still too young to understand the complexity of death. And most importantly, so they won't be afraid that death will happen to someone else.😱
But we don’t even consider the fact that around the age of ten, a child will inevitably come to understand death on their own—we’re just wired that way. By filling their heads with false ideas, we only make it harder for them to grasp the concept of death.
What are the right and wrong ways to do this? We asked our colleague about her own experiences:
🐶When the family dog died, my parents didn't say anything about it for three days. When I started asking about him, they said he had simply passed away.
💔She remembers very clearly the moment when she became aware of the reality of death: she must have been around nine years old; she was in her bedroom, getting ready for bed. And suddenly it dawned on her that her parents would die one day, just like in the action movies on TV where parents fall asleep in the evenings. She spent the rest of the night crying. She never confided this to her parents.
❤️🩹A few years later, however, she went through the death of her beloved guinea pig, just as one should. She cared for it while it was sick and fed it with a syringe when it could no longer eat. After it took its last breath, she and her dad held a small ceremony. She buried it in its favorite little house.
Children—even the youngest ones—are smarter than we think.👶 If we can’t talk about death ourselves, we’ll only create a barrier—and children will keep the questions that trouble them to themselves, until death becomes nothing more than a concept that they completely suppress. 💨
🙌To help children develop a healthy relationship with death, we have to start with ourselves. In their new article, Oleg and Adriana discuss how to talk to children about death and how to come to terms with it ourselves.🙌
We adapted Mexico's Día de Muertos into the Czech "Ceremony of Remembrance"—with Petra Ponocná
💀Do they celebrate death in Mexico on Día de Muertos?💀
Is it a fascination with death that makes us constantly commemorate old wounds every year?
❌Not at all. On the contrary: here, we’re not even able to talk properly about a friend’s death, even after a year. We tuck photos into albums, lock away our memories, and throw away their clothes. And God forbid their spirits should ever come back to haunt us.
In Mexico, on the other hand, people set up an altar for the deceased. They bring their favorite items and treats to their graves. They use sugar skulls to lure them back so they can celebrate with them and see that they haven’t been forgotten.
We've been talking for a long time about how cemeteries should be brought back to life. 🪅And in Mexico, they know exactly how to do it! 🪅
🧡They decorate the graves with colorful flowers.
🧡During the Day of the Dead celebrations, there are taco stands at cemeteries.
🧡The mariachis are playing.
🧡And families stay overnight there.
Let’s compare this to the Czech All Souls’ Day🥀—can you imagine not just going to lay a flower on a grave this year, but instead cooking the deceased’s favorite meal and going to the cemetery to chat with them? Playing music and dancing? Sharing memories with others who come there? Probably not. But you could, for example, invite your family over and remember the deceased together. Whether on All Souls’ Day or at another time—and whether with our help or on your own. Get inspired by us here, for example: https://www.pohrebnipruvodci.cz/obrad-vzpominani
In our culture, grief is an illness that needs to be treated and that has a clearly defined end. In Mexico, no one expects grief to end with a funeral and for everything to go back to the way it was before; on the contrary, people return to it every year, naturally, just as it should be in life.
On top of that, we here also think we’ve invented self-help groups—for example, for victims of car accidents.
Yet in Mexico, there are nationally designated days for various specific causes of death, allowing people to share their experiences with others who have suffered the same fate.
🇲🇽 There’s so much to say about Mexico. We just talked about it on our podcast with our colleague Petra Ponocná, and if you’re interested, tune in on Spotify. 🇲🇽
Czech Television: Adriana Kábová on Lucie Výborná’s “Výborná Show” — Why Did She Buy Suits for Dolls?
📺 Our Adriana was a guest on Lucie Výborná’s show, *Výborná show*.
👦 They filmed this a while ago; Adriana isn't pregnant anymore—she gave birth to a cheerful little boy!
👨🚀 There, you'll find out, for example, where her husband is really from.
🌏 How long is the body of a deceased person kept at home on the Indonesian island of Sumba?
🌍 How the flu is treated in Madagascar.
🧸 Why she bought suits for her dolls.
💀 And, of course, why she became a funeral director.
Caring for Parents After the Death of a Child: Alena Peremská
This podcast with Alena Peremská begins by discussing what has changed over the past 10 years. And fortunately, everything has changed. It used to be normal not to talk about the death of infants—it was a taboo; the babies weren’t shown to their parents, weren’t given names, and weren’t buried. “It” was supposed to be forgotten quickly.
So what's the right way to do it? Let's take it step by step.
How should bad news be delivered in a hospital? Isn't it better to say nothing? After all, if I don't say anything, I won't make things worse.
It isn't. If you don't know how, just approach it personally, humanely, on your own behalf. There's nothing wrong with crying—on the contrary, if you cry, it might actually be the greatest gift you can give that family.
How can you preserve—or even create—a memory of a child?
Take a photo together (seriously, we’ve had the best experiences with this). Ask for a memory box. Make footprints in it, give the baby a stuffed animal… We know from experience that this doesn’t traumatize the family.
How do you say goodbye?
First, at the hospital: The hospital should allow you to say goodbye to your baby in private. You can dress the baby and prepare it for burial… but you can also do this later at the funeral home.
And then hold a funeral, a ceremony. Let the child go, say goodbye. It will be a great help to our mental well-being, but also to the child’s soul. And if it helps us, we can even have the child baptized—we don’t think it matters whether the baptism is valid, but if it helps us, the Lord understands.
What should you do with the child then? Where should you put the child?
Parents often choose cremation and then keep the urn at home so that their child is always with them. That’s fine (we just recommend not keeping it in the bedroom). After some time, however, it’s a good idea to move the urn to a more permanent location. You can hold a “secondary funeral”—bury your child’s ashes in a cemetery or in the garden, scatter them in a meadow, or release them into the sea.
The podcast ends on a very personal—even touching—note, so it's really worth listening to all the way through.
Zdenka Volavá, Director of Dlouhá cesta: How does a relationship change after the death of a child?
Zdenka is a mother whose 21-year-old son passed away. And since 2022, she has also been the president of the organization Dlouhá cesta. Dlouhá cesta supports families who have lost a child—regardless of the child’s age or the cause of death. In this podcast, we introduce Dlouhá cesta. But we’ll also focus on the difficult topic of changes in a romantic relationship following the death of a child.
“If someone had shown me this ten years ago or even five years ago, I would have said: ‘That’s not me at all; I’ll never act like that; I’ve never acted like that.’ But after that loss, I did act that way, and I actually didn’t recognize myself. So I feel like my husband, for example, had to get used to the new me far more than I had to get used to him.”
How can we support parents who have lost a baby? And what phrases should we avoid at all costs? By Adriana Kábová for Maminka.cz
The topic of death is often swept under the rug in the Czech Republic, and the death of an infant is perhaps twice as much of a taboo. Unfortunately, for many parents, it is a harsh reality. The following tips are based on the experiences of funeral directors and, above all, on the recommendations of many parents who have experienced the death of a baby and encountered various reactions from those around them. Some of these reactions were very helpful, while others only rubbed salt into the wound. Keep in mind that everyone experiences the loss of a child differently, and the points mentioned below are by no means a one-size-fits-all guide.
But you certainly can’t go wrong by having a sincere conversation with the parents and asking them what makes them feel comfortable and what doesn’t. They’ll surely appreciate that more than if you remained completely silent about the death of their baby or even started avoiding them. It’s also important to mention that each parent probably grieves differently, and it’s possible that different things you do will help the baby’s mother and different things will help the baby’s father. And don’t be afraid of their emotions and tears—they’re often the main path to healing the deepest grief.
Czech Radio Radiožurnál: Adriana Kábová as a guest on Lucie Výborná’s show. After a bizarre experience with a funeral home following the death of my child, I decided to change the funeral industry in the Czech Republic.
Adriana Kábová is an anthropologist and funeral guide.
While researching Indonesian cultures, she came across traditional funerals in which animals are sacrificed. “Although my research topic wasn’t originally funerary practices, in Indonesia I attended funerals first and foremost,” she explains.
After experiencing the death of her own baby, she decided to change the funeral industry in the Czech Republic and became a funeral director.
What does this job entail?
And how did she cope with the loss of her child?