A REMEMBRANCE CEREMONY MODELED AFTER THE MEXICAN DAY OF THE DEAD (DÍA DE MUERTOS)
THE FUNERAL DOES NOT MARK THE END OF MOURNING, BUT THE BEGINNING.
Anyone who has experienced grief knows that sorrow comes in waves.
There’s always something we couldn’t, didn’t want to, or didn’t have time to say…
We feel guilty about things that aren’t our fault.
Support from friends gradually fades, and we find ourselves increasingly alone.
And it’s on anniversaries that death weighs heaviest on us.
On top of that, we need to rework our family relationships—because when someone truly close to us dies, all our relationships look different after their passing.
And it’s absolutely the worst when, for example, there wasn’t even a funeral. Or… it wasn’t a good one.
HOW CAN A REMEMBRANCE CEREMONY HELP YOU?
You’ll cope better with grief.
It will reduce your anxiety.
Your fear of death will lessen.
You’ll strengthen your relationships with family and friends.
You’ll help children see death as a natural part of life.
You’ll introduce the deceased to, for example, children who don’t remember them because they were too young.
You’ll honor your loved ones who have passed away.
And you won’t be alone when the annual waves of sadness hit.
WHEN SHOULD A MEMORIAL SERVICE BE HELD?
This ritual never does any harm, but in these cases, it can be of much greater help:
There was no funeral at all, or it was inadequate (typically 15 minutes at the crematorium).
Do you feel that you need a better way to say goodbye, that you need to open up your grieving process, let it unfold, or, on the contrary, bring it to a close?
Do you have unresolved issues with family, friends, or coworkers following a death…
…or if you like Mexico :)
What about the date of the ceremony?
It’s most often held on the anniversary of a loved one’s death, funeral, or birthday.
But we can also hold it on a day that’s meaningful to our family or community.
Or simply on a day that works for the whole family (for example, if we only see each other twice a year).
How long after a person’s death does a memorial service still make sense?
If you feel you need it, then even 5–10 years is fine. We’ve even organized the funeral itself as late as five years after the person’s death—simply because the bereaved needed it.
WHAT MIGHT A MEMORIAL SERVICE LOOK LIKE?
The point of the gathering is to get together, reminisce, say what’s left unsaid, and try to rekindle old relationships and forge new ones. It’s meant to be a pleasant and relaxed gathering—let’s definitely not confuse it with our All Souls’ Day celebrations, which tend to be more somber and mournful.
We’ve designed the ceremony to have a more European feel, but we’d be happy to work with you to prepare a ceremony inspired by the Mexican Day of the Dead—we know that Czechs really enjoy watching Mexicans hold these ceremonies in public in Prague.
Don’t worry, we won’t be eating on the graves—although this was a tradition not only among Mexicans but also among the Slavs, for example.
A Funeral Guide will lead us through the ceremony.
The script may be very different from this one; we’re providing more of a guideline. Every family is different, and we want everything to be very personal.
Together, we’ll set up an altar for the deceased using items we’ve prepared in advance (photos, candles, gifts) and decorate it.
To help with your preparations, we’ll provide you with a short “guide” containing ideas, tips, and explanations of the significance of each element.
Children can bring their own drawings, puppets, or handmade flowers.
We’ll play music that connects us to the deceased (such as songs we listened to together) or music that the deceased loved.
We’ll deliver the opening speech, which we’ll prepare in advance based on what you tell us about your loved one.
Then you’ll share your memories, both aloud and in silence.
We can write messages to the deceased and burn them, or send them down the river in little boats. We can release balloons with messages attached. We can, for example, bury the messages...bury them.
Perhaps we want to give the deceased a personal gift: sing something, recite a poem, read a passage...
At the end, we’ll eat and drink together.
We’ll share memories and stories—happy and sad, big and small, everyday ones.
And our loved one will gradually become part of our collective memory.
WHO SHOULD BE INVITED TO THE MEMORIAL SERVICE?
Mexicans typically remember the deceased within the family, but also in public (at school, preschool, or work). In addition to family, we can invite friends, coworkers, and neighbors.
Let’s think about it this way: if the deceased were celebrating a birthday, who would they invite?
Or if we were having a celebration, who would we want there (and who wouldn’t we want?)
Who needs to be invited (perhaps they have some unresolved issues)?
Who can help us cope better with our grief?
Who do we want to “introduce” to our deceased loved one? (For example, children who were still too young when he or she died)
WHY DO WE DO THIS, AND HOW MUCH DOES IT COST?
Why hold a remembrance ceremony with Pohřební průvodci?
These ceremonies were conceived by our colleague Petra, who has personally experienced them for many years in Mexico. Listen to this podcast with Petra about this ceremony and the Mexican Día de Muertos. We’ve conducted hundreds of funerals—farewell ceremonies that follow a similar spirit. We likely have the most experience with this in the Czech Republic.
We are certified Bereavement Counselors.
How much does a memorial service cost?
The price ranges from 5,000 to 30,000 CZK.
The price depends largely on what activities will take place during the service, where it will be held, and how much time the preparation will take.
However, you are welcome to organize the service on your own, without Pohřební průvodci, and it will be completely free for you.