Scattering ashes is a beautiful, romantic, spiritual, and—one might even say—uplifting way to say goodbye. However, it is associated with many concerns and prejudices, even though there is nothing to fear.
From a legal standpoint, two principles apply: you should obtain the landowner’s consent for the scattering, and you must treat the ashes with respect. So you can scatter the ashes in your own garden (or in a meadow or forest). You can scatter them in a meadow or forest belonging to a friend, or on land owned by the municipality (the municipality will often grant permission). When it comes to public places, such as a park, it’s more complicated: the park’s owner will usually not grant permission simply because “then everyone would want to do it.” And perhaps they’re right. To scatter ashes into water, you must obtain permission from the river basin authority: we can usually arrange this—it’s not the first time we’ve done it. The only exception is scattering ashes into the sea, for which you don’t need any permission.
What should you do if you insist on scattering the ashes somewhere where permission cannot be obtained—for example, because the deceased insisted on it and you want to fulfill their last wish? That can be done as well: scatter only a small portion of the ashes so as not to “litter” the area. The symbolic meaning remains the same. And legally speaking, the ashes are simply your property—just like cigarette ash, for example, which you can also tap out outdoors without penalty.
You can also scatter the ashes in a so-called scattering meadow, which is part of many larger cemeteries and crematoriums; however, you’re only given 15 minutes for the scattering, and we personally don’t believe that a dignified ceremony can be squeezed into such a short time. If clients specifically request it (for example, because the deceased’s wife has already been scattered in the same meadow), we’ll arrange for at least a longer time slot with the cemetery administration.

For more information on how to handle the ashes of the deceased, see our article. (Ed. O.V.) 

Experts agree that the ceremony is intended for the bereaved. Without it, they would be deprived of the opportunity to say goodbye, to bid a final farewell, to realize that “it really is over,” and to bring closure to that first, most acute phase of grief or shock following the passing of a loved one. It is important for family and friends to gather together to express their mutual support, shed tears together, and share memories. And last but not least, so they can see how many people cared enough about the deceased to come and pay their respects.
But the reason we believe it’s important to take the very essence of the deceased into account during the preparations is simple. The closer the bereaved come to celebrating the deceased’s life in an authentic and personal way, the more they’ll feel relieved, thinking, “This is how he or she would have wanted it; we held the farewell well and did the best we could.” And thanks to a personalized ceremony, it’s also much easier to remember what our loved one meant to us and why we remember them. Did he like to drink beer? Let’s have some on the casket. Did she like red wine? Let’s roll out a red carpet. Did he love throwing parties and popping champagne? Let’s honor him with a few toasts at the farewell. It’s simple, possible—and yet very important. We want to help you make it “just the way they would have wanted it,” no matter what you have in mind. Will you surprise us? :-) 

Have you heard of a "pre-funeral"? Find out more.(Ed. Z.H.)

Did you know that you can have, say, a motorcycle at a farewell gathering? A projector showing photos? Colorful desserts? A beer tap? You can. You just have to ask for it. And you don’t have to hold the farewell in a funeral hall—you could do it in the woods, at your favorite park, in a café, at a river confluence, or even on a tennis court. Just don’t be afraid to make requests. Don’t let yourself be swayed by catalogs, spreadsheets, and suggestions from funeral directors. No one is forcing you to fit into a 20-minute “conveyor belt” routine of “silence, music, laying flowers, a hired eulogist, music, condolences—gone in 20 minutes and out to mingle with the next group.”
You can take your time with the funeral. Feel free to make it an hour, two, three, or even the whole afternoon. It can be held wherever you choose. It can include an urn or a casket. It can be colorful, with live music, photos, children, dogs—or even themed after Star Wars or Slavia, if the deceased was a fan :)
We’re here to help you with that. Don’t hesitate to reach out, and we’ll create a dignified yet themed farewell that you’ll look back on fondly.

Read more in our article on how to make a final farewell as personal as possible. (Ed. Z.H.)

Over the past few years, funerals have gradually been breaking free from the mold of being “sad, oppressive, somber, and tearful,” and the belief is slowly taking hold that these ceremonies should instead be a celebration of life. It’s therefore no surprise that the way such celebrations are organized is becoming more like any other event.

You have to invite people (in this case, an obituary notice containing all the necessary information can serve as the invitation itself). You need to make sure they have a place to park, somewhere to sit, that they don’t get cold or wet, and that they have something to drink. You need someone to lead the ceremony, guide the bereaved, calm them down, and tell them what to say. You need to make sure attendees feel comfortable and safe, so they aren’t afraid to participate. And even better—you want them to attend the reception that follows, whether at the ceremony venue or elsewhere. You can arrange and organize everything yourself, or you can hire someone to take over the responsibilities for you so that you can focus primarily on grieving, your family, community, and mutual support. So is there a difference here from event agencies? Should funerals be taboo, rarely discussed, with those who organize them looked down upon? Isn’t this just another service sector that people commonly choose to work in? We believe it is. Nevertheless, we do not approach ceremonies as a business, and we do not put on a show. Respect for the deceased, an open heart for their bereaved loved ones, and the conviction that this is how it should be—these elements must never be missing. (Ed. Z.H.) 

Psychologists agree on this point: a child should definitely be with us at the funeral—he or she should have the opportunity to say goodbye and find some closure regarding the deceased. If we leave them at home, they won’t come to terms with death, and on top of that, they’ll feel left out and lonely. Let’s explain death to them, explain what happened and why we’re holding a funeral service: that we want to say goodbye, and that by doing so, we’re also paying tribute to our loved one. They don’t have to understand everything: don’t be surprised by their questions; let’s be patient and understanding. For example, let’s describe the funeral service to them in advance so they won’t be startled. Let’s not be ashamed to even show them our grief: a child will understand that this is a great loss for us. But let’s not project our self-pity onto them, even if it’s natural and understandable: “Why did she do this to me? Why did she leave me?” Let’s avoid lies, even “white lies”: if we say that “Grandma is sleeping,” the child may develop sleep problems; if we say she’s gone “up to a little cloud in the sky,” the child might like the idea and want to follow her… And above all, they’ll ask why she left them.
Just as it’s good to involve adult bereaved family members in funeral preparations, let’s involve children as well. For one thing, it will help them come to terms with the reality of death, and for another, it will at least keep them occupied during this time of grief. And let’s be honest: we’ll be more at ease, too, if the children aren’t disrupting things :) You can read about how to talk to children about death here in our article. (Ed. O.V.)

We know that in our culture, black symbolizes (among other things) mourning. But it’s not necessary to wear black to every funeral in every situation. Even for a funeral, you can specify a “dress code” on the obituary or invitation—so it’s not unusual for the bereaved to wear the colors that the deceased loved most. 

And other times, we hear requests like “just don’t wear black” or “make sure no one wears black at all.” We believe that a funeral should first and foremost be a celebration of the life of the loved one we are saying goodbye to. It can be personal, and it certainly can be colorful. Just don’t be afraid to break with social expectations—and be sure to let the mourners know well in advance. (Ed. Z.H.)

It is customary for one person—often a hired eulogist—to deliver the eulogy. But this is not a rule, let alone an obligation. Anyone who wishes to speak may do so at the funeral, whether it is held in a traditional funeral home (in which case you’ll need to plan for a longer rental period) or at a funeral arranged according to your wishes. We like to deliver one comprehensive eulogy about the deceased, and then invite any of the mourners to take the floor and share what’s on their mind. It might be a specific memory, words of thanks, or a personal expression of the feelings they held for the deceased. Such statements often have incredible depth and power. And the speakers find relief in the process, because they’ve been able to share what they’ve been carrying in their hearts—whether to themselves, to others, or to the deceased in heaven. Everyone present shares this moment with them; they can support one another and encourage others to overcome their shyness and speak up as well. Such a ceremony makes the most sense to us. It imbues the occasion with emotion, humanity, and individuality, and—just as importantly—focuses on the deceased’s life and character rather than on the fact that they have died. That is why, at funerals, we like to invite everyone who wishes to participate to do so. As we say—there will never be a more fitting moment.

Have you ever wondered why funeral speakers sound so impersonal? You can find out in our article. (Ed. Z.H.)

A name is not a taboo. Everyone knew the deceased by name; he went through life under a certain name. Why should this fact change just because he has died? Yet mentioning the person’s name often poses a problem for the bereaved. From a psychological standpoint, however, there is nothing better than preserving his or her personality by using their name. It is especially a great source of comfort for the immediate family to hear the name of a loved one rather than vague references like “he,” “she,” “how are you doing without him/her?” and the like. A person’s legacy lives on, and their loved ones will carry it in their hearts—not anonymously, not as “him/her,” but as a specific person with a specific name. Next time, try to set aside your shyness and ask those who are grieving directly how much they miss Aleš, Tomáš, Pavlína, Markéta, or perhaps Martin…

"Hiding" his name won't hide the fact that he is no longer alive.

What taboos are associated with death? (Ed. Z.H.)

Lifting the lid of the casket before the service begins is called “identification of the deceased.” This is done not only so that the bereaved can be certain they are truly saying goodbye to their loved one, but especially so that they may see their loved one’s face one last time, if they so wish. In addition, the service can be conducted with the coffin open throughout. The funeral home may ask you about identification when you’re arranging the service. Whether you answer yes or no at that time, no one should prevent you from seeing the deceased before the service, even if you hadn’t previously expressed that wish. Likewise, you have the right to change your mind if, once in the ceremony hall, you realize you don’t have the strength to do so—there is absolutely nothing wrong with that.
The face and body of the deceased do not look like they do in American TV shows. There, it’s common to specially prepare the bodies—essentially embalming or preserving them—but here it’s not customary; it’s done only in exceptional cases and is called “advanced hygienic care for the deceased”—and only two entities are authorized to perform it.
The body looks different than it did when the person was alive. The skin has a different color, there’s no longer a sparkle in the eyes, the face loses the familiar expressions, the body is stiff and cold, and it looks a bit like wax. Sometimes, it’s not possible to close the deceased’s eyelids or mouth—which, admittedly, simply means that the person was subject to natural processes—but not everyone can cope with the experience of seeing a loved one in this state. Seeing a loved one like this from one moment to the next—without warning and without understanding the context of what happens to the body from the moment of death until the funeral—can be deeply traumatic. We aren’t typically accustomed to such a sight when people die in hospitals. Ultimately, however, it is up to you to decide whether you consider identification a suitable way to come to terms with the fact that the person is no longer alive, or whether you will opt out of identification out of fear that you will remember their post-mortem appearance most vividly. The choice is yours, and neither option is wrong, though it’s certainly wise to think it through. Neither choice can be undone—seeing a face that can no longer be “unseen” may be just as difficult for some as it is for others to blame themselves for not having the courage to do so.

Traditionally, a tree is planted when a child is born. However, it is becoming increasingly popular to plant a tree to mark a death as well. It doesn’t have to be a weeping willow at all; on the contrary, a “memorial tree” can be any tree you plant in memory of the deceased. Some people like to commemorate their loved one with a pink-blooming cherry tree, because such a tree will gradually become the pride of the entire garden; others prefer the species that the deceased loved most of all—whether it be an acacia, birch, beech, or oak. Planting a tree together during the ceremony also helps bring people together, allowing them to do something collectively rather than simply watching passively as someone else performs a ritual or speaks on behalf of the deceased. 

The tree then needs to be visited, watered, and cared for—so it can serve just as well as a memorial as a stone headstone in a cemetery. In addition, you can hang photos, a nameplate with the deceased’s name, or other mementos on the tree—perhaps the ones the person cherished most. And why not a bird feeder, so that life is always thriving around the tree’s crown? A memorial tree simply has its own beauty and power. (Ed. Z.H.)

How about holding the ceremony in the afternoon, in the evening, or on Sunday? Funerals are typically held in the morning or early afternoon—at the latest, early in the afternoon—on weekdays. They last less than half an hour, and the family and mourners don’t always have the time or inclination to go to the funeral reception. Only the closest relatives are eligible for time off work, which is why not everyone who would otherwise like to say goodbye is able to attend.
We therefore recommend—and prefer to organize—funerals that take place in the late afternoon, so that the bereaved can move seamlessly to an evening gathering in memory of the deceased. On weekends, we most often visit families on Sunday—sometimes in the morning so the family can enjoy lunch together, and sometimes in the afternoon so they can spend the rest of the day together and start the new week in a renewed state of mind. More at peace, more free from the pressure of “there’s something we didn’t say,” and more attuned to the fact that life will truly move forward in a different way. It’s also important to us that the bereaved don’t have to prioritize their weekend plans, which is another reason we recommend Sundays—even those with busy weekends are usually able to set aside Sunday afternoon for a farewell service. Such ceremonies also don’t have to be rushed, as it’s expected that more or less everyone has the rest of the day free. That is why we are happy to offer you Sunday services as well. We consider spending a pleasant, unhurried time together with all the bereaved to be of the utmost importance for an easier journey through grief. Another suitable time is Friday afternoon: the weekend begins afterward, allowing one to take a deep breath, let it out… and then a new week, a new life, begins… (Ed. Z.H.)

When a family member dies, it is customary for most of the bereaved to come together and offer each other support, especially to the person who was closest to the deceased. From the perspective of the bereaved—rather than the primary mourners—it is important to remember that the widow, widower, bereaved parents, or, for example, bereaved children do not need support only in the immediate aftermath of the death and during funeral preparations; they will appreciate a long-term offer of a helping hand all the more. Grieving is often a long-term process, and even though the most acute, paralyzing grief usually subsides shortly after the funeral, long-term sadness persists and makes everyday life difficult for a long time afterward. It is precisely then that there is a need to consistently offer various forms of relief, whether in the form of babysitting, delivering groceries, cooking, cleaning, or organizing weekend activities. The bereaved often find themselves in a situation where they know their grief is already a burden to others and that no one expects them to have “moved on” yet—but it is precisely this social pressure that can make the grieving process even more difficult. 

So let’s be present, let’s be prepared to provide long-term care, let’s be there for those we love for as long as possible—and let’s not make them feel like they’re grieving for an unusually long time. Who knows when we, in turn, might need something similar… 

What's more, by opening our hearts and allowing someone to grieve, we help not only them but also our own hearts. Anyone who has experienced this knows.

Reading About Death: What Do Funeral Guides Recommend? (Edited by Z.H. and O.V.)

When someone dies, the bereaved often don’t know what to say—how to comfort their loved ones, how to express sympathy. The phrase “my sincere condolences” naturally comes to mind—but we don’t “wish” for grief; we “express” it. This is the most common mistake an uninformed person might make. There’s nothing to wish for when it comes to grief. However, we can use the phrase “please accept my sincere condolences” or “allow me to express my sincere condolences,” or simply say, “my sincere condolences,” and shake their hand.
Is that enough? Isn’t it just an empty phrase we can hide behind so we don’t accidentally say or do something wrong? Everyone must find the answer for themselves. In general, however, we can only recommend that a person be sincere and genuine in expressing grief and compassion, with or without the phrase “sincere condolences.” You can simply say, “I’m sorry,” “I’ll miss them just as much as you do,” “I feel for you—it must be really hard right now,” or “I’m so sorry; feel free to reach out to me anytime you need help—now, in a month, or in two years—whenever.” Sincere condolences won’t hurt anything; in fact, they’ll truly support the bereaved, who hear them a hundred times at the funeral home—but nothing more? What do you think? (Ed. Z.H.)

In the case of state funerals, with the media and photographers present, no one questions the legitimacy of photographing the mourners or even the deceased in an open casket. Such solemn ceremonies take place in full view of all citizens, and the photos taken can be found anywhere on the internet.
Why is it different for family funerals? A funeral is also a significant day, an important “rite of passage” both for the deceased and for their loved ones, who are beginning a new phase—a phase of life without a loved one, a phase of mourning. If the funeral service is arranged beautifully and with respect, we consider it both a kind gesture and the right thing to do to document such a farewell for future remembrance. Some families even film the ceremony or stream it (with or without a recording). And we think that’s perfectly fine—humans are visual creatures, and photos always help us recall the situation in which they were taken a little more vividly. In such cases, we also strive to decorate the space where the farewell takes place—both outdoors and indoors—as tastefully as possible so that its unique atmosphere is captured in the photos.
And there’s another advantage: when a photographer is present at the ceremony, people are less likely to take photos with their own cell phones—and more likely to engage fully in the funeral service. (Ed. Z.H.) 

They don’t have to. And here, they usually aren’t—we prefer bouquets placed loosely around the casket or urn. We feel that this better expresses the colorfulness, variety, and freedom that are part of life—and also of its celebration. It also helps preserve nature, because most mourners will bring a flower or two, or perhaps a small bouquet (just as we bring wine when visiting someone, we bring flowers to a funeral), and in doing so, they provide beautiful decorations on their own.
We consider wreaths, which require a great many flowers to make, to be somewhat excessive from both a financial and environmental standpoint. On top of that, the bereaved can take bouquets or individual flowers home afterward; they can be placed in the coffin with the deceased, or—without cellophane or ribbons—left at the farewell site, especially if it’s their own garden or a memorial tree they’ve planted. Wreaths, on the other hand, would simply be thrown away after the ceremony with no further use—they can really only be used to decorate the grave. We also see an advantage in cut flowers in the variety of choices available—you and we can select seasonal and exclusively Czech flowers, wildflowers growing in meadows, and we can even use dried flowers, which experienced florists know how to arrange into beautiful bouquets. In short—just as we say “yes” to celebrating life, we also say “yes” to the uniqueness of flowers. Even if it were, say, the deceased’s favorite cactus, brought in a window box 😊 (Ed. Z.H. and O.V.)